Rant Of The Week #1

Stephanie June 20th, 2006

I’m Crissy’s fat, pregnant friend who is due to deliver another male child to the world sometime around the end of July. We were discussing belly pictures and belly casts the other day. I was feeling like a freak because I seem to be the only pregnant woman I know (and I’ve been surrounded by them both in the real world and in cyberspace) who is not taking pictures of my growing belly. Call me lazy, call me neglectful, call me a bad mommy-to-be, but I’m not seeing what all the fuss is over photographing this astronomical weight gain of mine. I mean it’s not like anyone can actually see the baby. And it’s not likely that either my husband or I am going to forget how big I got. Now this is not to say I’m going to run and hide if a camera comes out. In fact, I graciously posed for some pictures for my aunt during Memorial Day weekend. But do I really need to pose every week or month or whatever to have my belly photographed to prove I’d be a good mommy? Is this a new requirement?

And what about these belly casts? Now who does this? And honestly, why? I can see me telling my husband he has to put Plaster of Paris on my stomach. “Oh, but, honey, please be careful not to drip any on the new cream carpets.” I foresee all of my orifices being plastered as well so he can’t hear me complain or tell him what to do. Instead of a belly cast it would be a full pregnant mommy cast. And where exactly would I store something like a belly cast? Is this meant to be displayed in the home? “Hmm, we need something to fill all that wall space over the fireplace mantel. I know, let’s hang my round belly there. Then we can proudly tell all our family and friends that our little guy grew there. And when he gets old enough he can bring all his playmates in to show them too. Awww.” Yeah, okay, like that is going to happen! Talk about setting your kid up for many years in therapy.

So, that’s my Mommy-To-Be rant of the week. Thanks Crissy for letting me get it all off my chest.

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[Editor’s Note:] Stephanie is a stay at home mommy-to-be who will become a stay at home mom. She has been my friend since junior high and we have been through many of our own milestones in life together. She likes to say that she is the spicy to my sweet. She will be writing a weekly rant if she can think of that many things to rant about…and take my word for it, she can!

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