Iâ€™ve really been thinking about all the preparation it takes to be a mommy. I canâ€™t tell you how many days I agonized over whether I should wash all the babyâ€™s clothes and blankets before he wears them and if so, what kind of laundry products should I use to do all this extra wash. I mean, what if I wash it in some kind of detergent that gives him a hideous rash. Will someone call DYFS and will they take him away from me? What if I choose the wrong bottles and nipples and he ends up with latching issues and nipple confusion all because I wanted to go get my hair done and I needed daddy to give him a bottle so I could look beautiful again? Will he starve to death?
And what about all these classes the hospital recommends in order to prepare for the arrival of this miraculous human being? Okay, so I agreed to take the Breastfeeding and the Childbirth class, but I decided to forego the Newborn Care class all because my husbandâ€™s work/travel schedule just made scheduling too painful. I gave my nephew plenty of baths when he was a baby. Heâ€™s almost 10 now and he seems to be thriving just fine. But will others think Iâ€™m a terrible mother because I had the audacity to think I could bathe and swaddle my newborn without the advice of a special class? And here I just thought Iâ€™d be really careful and learn as I went along and if all else failed Iâ€™d call my mother. Sigh, this child is not even born yet and already I feel like a failure.
And why are there no fathers logging on to message boards worrying about these issues? Is it only mothers that get all this guilt-ridden anxiety? My husband doesnâ€™t lose sleep over these issues. Heâ€™s confident that we are intelligent enough to handle this responsibility. This is not to say he doesnâ€™t have some worries about becoming a new father, but it just seems like all the minute issues are weighing on my shoulders and the shoulders of all those other moms on the message boards.
Am I crazy to feel this way? Am I the only woman brave enough to say, â€œEnough is enough!â€? If our mothers and grandmothers could raise children into adulthood without all these new fangled anxieties and rules than why oh why canâ€™t I?
So, is this just third trimester cynicism coming out or do other people have these thoughts as well?
[Editorâ€™s Note:] Stephanie is a stay at home mommy-to-be who will become a stay at home mom. She has been my friend since junior high and we have been through many of our own milestones in life together. She likes to say that she is the spicy to my sweet. She will be writing a weekly rant if she can think of that many things to rant aboutâ€¦and take my word for it, she can!