I Should Know Better
Crissy April 7th, 2008
I am very verbal about telling people my age and my experience with children. Since I don’t look my age and I have a ton of kid experience, I have no problem letting people know that about me. Sometimes though, I should just keep my mouth shut to avoid any embarrassing situations…
Aiden has been acting out and becoming “that” kid that no one wants their kid to be around. He pushes and yells at other kids, throws and takes toys away and cries when he doesn’t get his way. I was originally attributing this to toddlerhood and the fact that he is home with me all the time and doesn’t have the social experience that some of his friends have. At least that’s what I kept telling myself.
I have been racking my experienced brain to try and figure out how to modify his behavior. Mind you, I am feeling much better with the pregnancy now that I am 6 months pregnant so I am trying to give him more of my attention. I was hoping that his behavior was about the impending baby and the lack of attention from me. With tons of brainstorming, book reading and discussions with many moms, I realized that it is a result of my behavior from the pregnancy, but has nothing to do with the new baby (yet).
It has finally dawned on me why he is behaving in a not-so-nice manner: Disney movies. Right around the time I became pregnant, Aiden stopped taking naps and I started needing them. At first he would play in his room while I napped, as I was never feeling well the first 3-4 months. This didn’t last long and I decided that a Disney movie would be the perfect solution to keep him occupied while I napped. Seemed like a harmless solution, or so I thought. I am realizing now that after 5-6 months of watching the same movies everyday, Aiden has picked up on the pushing and meanness that some of the characters portray. Mulan is about a war (lots of fighting), Baloo teaches Mowgli how to fight in The Jungle Book and there are countless other examples in these movies that he has picked up on.
Being a former preschool teacher, I should have known better. I am familiar with the effect that tv and movies have on kids, so how is it that I completely missed it with my own child. Fortunately I am able to possibly reverse this effect by altering the type of programs he watches while I get the much needed rest required to allow this new baby to grow. Some of my mom friends have said on occasion they think of me as a super mom and I am so sorry have to give up that title because I should have known better.
Entry Filed under: Parenting
2 Comments Add your own
1. Stephanie | April 10th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
For shame on you … a former teacher and education major should know better … ;-p … just kidding. I’m sure Aiden will be just fine. There could be a combination of reasons for his ‘aggression’. It could be the tv, but it just might be that Aiden is using this way to exert his independence and since he’s more timid and non-aggressive by nature maybe it’s his way of sticking up for himself and letting the other kids know he’s not a push over. I would just firmly but nicely remind him of the manners of playdates and see how things go in the next few weeks and months. Also, the whole new baby issue may be affecting him more than he’s able to communicate and it’s coming out in this way. I’m sure he’ll be fine and the problem will be resolved in its own time. Plus with Chris having to put in so much time to get the basement finished Aiden might just be out of sorts at the moment. So, many things for a little kid to adjust to at once and the normal phases of toddler/preschool age stuff could all be working together.
2. Rob Usdn | April 16th, 2008 at 10:44 am
My daughter exhibited similar behavior after watching the PowerPuff Girls for a period of time. She wanted to fight and rough house more than usual. We stopped watching them and she hasn’t really asked to see them again. She is more into the Disney Princess movies, which don’t have as much violence in them.
Disney movies can be pretty wholesome, but like you said they do have their moments of violence. You might try switching to more PBS programs. Record blocks on videotape (or DVR if you have one) for extended period of time. Even if a show is above his learning level (for example:Super Why - which is a phonics reading show) he will still enjoy the show itself, the characters and plot. We have even bought DVDs of The Electric Company which my daughter loves and which you can put on to play a number of episodes in a row.
–*Rob
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