Posts filed under 'Parenting'
I am very verbal about telling people my age and my experience with children. Since I don’t look my age and I have a ton of kid experience, I have no problem letting people know that about me. Sometimes though, I should just keep my mouth shut to avoid any embarrassing situations…
Aiden has been acting out and becoming “that” kid that no one wants their kid to be around. He pushes and yells at other kids, throws and takes toys away and cries when he doesn’t get his way. I was originally attributing this to toddlerhood and the fact that he is home with me all the time and doesn’t have the social experience that some of his friends have. At least that’s what I kept telling myself.
I have been racking my experienced brain to try and figure out how to modify his behavior. Mind you, I am feeling much better with the pregnancy now that I am 6 months pregnant so I am trying to give him more of my attention. I was hoping that his behavior was about the impending baby and the lack of attention from me. With tons of brainstorming, book reading and discussions with many moms, I realized that it is a result of my behavior from the pregnancy, but has nothing to do with the new baby (yet).
It has finally dawned on me why he is behaving in a not-so-nice manner: Disney movies. Right around the time I became pregnant, Aiden stopped taking naps and I started needing them. At first he would play in his room while I napped, as I was never feeling well the first 3-4 months. This didn’t last long and I decided that a Disney movie would be the perfect solution to keep him occupied while I napped. Seemed like a harmless solution, or so I thought. I am realizing now that after 5-6 months of watching the same movies everyday, Aiden has picked up on the pushing and meanness that some of the characters portray. Mulan is about a war (lots of fighting), Baloo teaches Mowgli how to fight in The Jungle Book and there are countless other examples in these movies that he has picked up on.
Being a former preschool teacher, I should have known better. I am familiar with the effect that tv and movies have on kids, so how is it that I completely missed it with my own child. Fortunately I am able to possibly reverse this effect by altering the type of programs he watches while I get the much needed rest required to allow this new baby to grow. Some of my mom friends have said on occasion they think of me as a super mom and I am so sorry have to give up that title because I should have known better.
April 7th, 2008
Today I wanted to go to the gym. It has been about 2 weeks since my last visit. In addition to wanting to work out, I thought it would be good to get Aiden acquainted with the idea of going. We waited until the afternoon so the high school girls would be there, as he likes them better than the women during the day. I thought once he recognized them he would be ok. Oh how wrong I was.
First we arrived a little too early and the girls were not there yet. So, 20 minutes on the treadmill of watching him cry in a chair all by himself did not a good workout make. The women do not nurture kids when they cry, which makes me crazy. I saw that the girls were arriving and decided to go in and help him make the transition (I also left my water in the diaper bag and was thirsty). He did not take too kindly to me coming and going again. The girls really tried to help him, but he was having none of it. I went off to do the weight part of my training anyway. He needs to get used to being without me BEFORE the baby comes so it’s not such a shock. He will be fine, we just need to keep trying.
April 4th, 2008
This weekend we had 3 birthday parties to attend - a 3rd, 30th and 40th. It was quite the whirlwind for Aiden, what with all that cake! I was nervous that it would throw him so far off his schedule that it would take a while to rejigger him. He seems to be doing ok though.
On Saturday, we started with the 3rd birthday party. That one was more for Aiden, of course and since daddy was still working in the basement, we had to go ourselves. He had a blast! There were kids there and lots of toys, cookies and cake. It was a great party because I was able to catch up with my mommy friends and Aiden played without me by his side. I did tried to leave at a good time so Aiden would still have some down time at home (he still needs it even though he doesn’t nap - sniff, sniff), but he did not want to leave. I could tell that all the kids were getting tired, although they protested the accusation, so we headed out. One movie and no dinner later, Aiden was ready for a bath and bed and so was I.
Which leads me to the 30th party. That one was in our neighborhood, so it was close. Chris was still working on the basement and said I should go and make an appearance. I gave Aiden a bath and put him to bed and proceeded to fall asleep myself. So, while I was looking forward to some adult interaction, I basically missed the event. So sorry Shelia!
Today, we attended a surprise party for one of Chris’s friends. We arrived just before the guest of honor, so we had to sit at a table all by ourselves as everyone’s tables were filled. Why is it at these events do I attract all the kids? Even pregnant, they would rather hang out with me then be cool on their own. So, I wasn’t alone while my husband socialized. It was nice to see him do that as I am usually the butterfly. Plus, I had the extra benefit of the kids waiting on me! Not too bad for a party filled weekend.
March 30th, 2008
Happy Easter to all those who celebrate! We had a busy travel day day today, visiting my dad in the early afternoon for an early dinner and then over to my mom’s for dessert. Aiden had a great time visiting at my dad’s as his cousins were there, which he always has a fun time with. My poor nephew though - Aiden ordered him around the whole time! “Joe Joe come here.” “Joe Joe play with me.” “Joe Joe come outside with me.” Joe Joe is in first grade and has two older sisters, so this poor kid is never in charge, even though he is in first grade and should be leading Aiden around. By the time we went over to my mom’s, Aiden was spent so that visit wasn’t as enjoyable for Aiden. All in all it was a good day though.
On the way home, we figured Aiden would conk out in the car. We were chatting about who we saw and sharing stories about different family members, when all of a sudden we hear music from the backseat. Apparently, Aiden unzipped the diaper bag, took out my phone and started to push buttons until he was playing music. Now, let me just point out that my phone only has different rings, but no music or games or anything. I took the phone from him I noticed he was playing Frogger. He said, “See the froggie mommy!” OK! When I inspected further I realized that Aiden had not only purchased Frogger, but Monopoly and World Class Poker. So, he purchased 3 games and figured out how to play one of them. I quickly canceled all the games and kept the phone in the front seat. I know most of what he does is random with the button pushing, but sometimes I wonder!
March 23rd, 2008
Today, Chris continues to try and finish framing the basement. It has been difficult since he is mostly doing it by himself and we are so proud of daddy. So, I decided that Aiden and would trot over to the local park and participate in the Spring Egg Hunt.
Sounds like a fun outing, right? Well, it was in the afternoon, which is when I normally give Aiden down time (in lieu of a nap), so right there I should have been tipped off that it wasn’t going to go well. We met one of Aiden’s friends there and I thought that would make it more interesting for him. Again, since Aiden doesn’t really “play” with kids yet that should have been another tip off.
Well, the concept of waiting to go get the plastic eggs full of candy or prizes was lost on the kids. Once they finally let the kids set off into the field they did a countdown which apparently scared Aiden as he cried. He got over it quick when he realized he was now able to pick up the eggs, so I held the bag while he double-fisted eggs. We came out with quite a bundle. Then the afternoon took a turn for the worse…
I took him over to the playground equipment where every other kid and their parents were assembling. I told Aiden that I was going to sit on the bench and he could play while I looked to see if we won anything. While wrestling with the plastic eggs (which did not open easily) I would look up to make sure he was playing safely. At one point I didn’t see him at all. This was not good.
I frantically looked around all the equipment for my little blonde haired boy. He was no where to be found. I started to scour the area, but with the hundreds of kids and parents it was a challenge. Then I heard one of the coordinators of the event shout, “Is anyone looking for a blonde haired boy?” I ran as fast as my 5 1/2 month pregnant body would let me to where he was. Holding the hand of a woman coordinator was Aiden, not crying, not fretting, just waiting. I gave him a big hug as the woman told me what a good boy he is and out of his mouth comes, “I missed you!” I almost cried right there on the spot.
So in addition to hunting for eggs I had the most scary hunt I ever had in my life. I hope never to repeat that again, but I am submitting my application for “World’s Worst Mom” and hope I don’t win.
March 15th, 2008
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